we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize