worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
