i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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