Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
