On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
