I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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