woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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