; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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