I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
