Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
