so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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