Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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