Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
