In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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