Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
