I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
