It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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