i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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