she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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