their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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