In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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