i barfeds in our rink
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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