I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize