Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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