It was confusing and full of hummus
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
