Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
