Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
