Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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