Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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