the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
