VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize