I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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