Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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