she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
