Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
