Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i drank out of a bidet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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