doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
