whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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