My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize