On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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