:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm really busy with my period
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