Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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