you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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