Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
