I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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