what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
did i walk over a car last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
