Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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