I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
