There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
