ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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