And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
pop tarts are not kleenex
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
