Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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