Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
