No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
