Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
