i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
