Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
