Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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