I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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