I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
