come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
