It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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