It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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