who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
