my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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