Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
