I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
