Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
